I am the Pan

by Brian Keaney

I recently discovered that Quicken has a tax planning feature that will calculate how much you owe, or, in my case, how big of a refund I will be getting.  Last year I had to write a check for all of $9, and it came as a surprise as it was the first time I ever owed any money.

This year I am going to be getting a substantial refund, but I’d almost rather be writing that check again.  It was a small amount, but it meant just about the right amount was being paid all along.  This year I’ve given my Uncle Sam a mighty big loan, interest free.  I know he needs the money, but it’s not like I’m loaded either.

Anyway, it’s got me thinking about what I should do with the check in a few months when it comes in.  I could max out my IRA for the year and save or spend the rest.  I could pay off my Jeep loan.  I could invest it, or save it for a down payment for a house.

Or, and this is what I would really like to do, I could put a nice down payment on a jet ski.  I could buy a used one outright, or wait until this summer when my Jeep is paid off and buy a brand new one, which would be my first choice.  Some of the new Sea Doos look really nice.  Nice enough that even I might look good riding one.

I’m being told I need to grow up, however.  I’m not about to build a Neverland, but I also don’t ever plan to get old.  Besides, I’m hitting a milestone birthday this summer, and I think being 25 is the perfect time to own something like a jet ski.  Since I’m a little beyond that, I think I’m past due.

I plan to die young and make a good looking corpse anyway, so this is the right time for a midlife crisis purchase.  Why wait until you are old?  I always said I wanted to retire while I was young and could enjoy it, and then work when I was older.  The same philosophy should apply to toys as well.

I probably won’t do it.  I’ll probably accept the bribe of a rental on my birthday, and invest the money.  I must be getting old.