I’m getting cooler, not older

by Brian Keaney

–“We’re gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what’s Fonzie like?” –“Cool.”

I must be getting old.  Either that, or the definition of “friend” has been radically changed by Facebook.  Or, and I like this option the best, I am a lot cooler than I thought I was.

I hit the bars on three nights last week.  I met a bunch of new people, saw some old friends, and got two girls’ phone numbers and one business card.  What I didn’t get was any Facebook friend requests, and I’m just fine with that.

Then, on Sunday, I gave a kid in high school I know and some of his friends a ride so they wouldn’t be late for a Christening.  I was happy to do it, but I was only in their presence for a couple of minutes.  In the few miles we traveled I talked to my friend about his recent breakup and what a dope he was for causing it, and offered some sage advice to his friend about why it’s not a good idea to sneak out of the house – especially when that means a leap from a second story window.

I dropped them off at the church – sans thank you’s, I might add.  What’s the matter with kids these days? – and thought that was that.  Today I woke up and discovered that the previously unknown friend had added me on Facebook.  To be honest, I didn’t even recognize his name and had to look at the photo to see who it was.  I’m not even sure how he found me as I’m sure I didn’t give my last name.

It’s not the first time a random high school kid has added me as a friend on Facebook.  My roommate works with a lot of them, and somehow my Jeep and I have become a source of amusement for them.  I usually accept their requests, but not today.

In fact, he has caused me to go through and remove a bunch of the other people I don’t really know from my friend list.  I don’t use Facebook all that often and I don’t post any objectionable content to it, so that’s not my worry.  Sadly, my days of objectionable behavior in public (or at least in view of a camera) seem to be dying fast anyway.  Even my three trips to the bar this week were pretty tame.

Nonetheless, one of the allures of Facebook used to be that it was a closed network.  Today, any idiot with an email address can get an account.  I’m a friendly guy, but if you’re not my friend, you’re not going to be my Facebook friend.   I’m just that cool.

The above photo of the Fonze by robotsandwrestlers is used under this creative commons license.