I’m not a mother
by Brian Keaney
One of my favorite songs this summer was (and let us take a moment to acknowledge with sadness that this is written in the past tense) Travie McCoy’s Billionaire. It’s a fun song, and in it he describes all the things he would do with $1,000,000,000. Today at work I got about as close as I ever will to doing one of those things. If I only become a millionaire and not a billionaire as a result I’ll be just as happy. I don’t think I could even give away a billion dollars in a lifetime, much less spend one.
Getting back to the point and needless to say, the boss was pleased and I’m sure the client is thrilled. The CEO even came down to my office to shake my hand and offer his congratulations. Making this happen didn’t take quite nine months, but it was longer than we expected or wanted. Still, recognizing the effort it took and the achievement it was, he said it must be like giving birth.
I was somewhat nonplussed at his comment, but I’m almost never at a loss for words, so I told him that I really didn’t have any basis for comparison. I’ve never been pregnant and I don’t really have any intention of becoming pregnant, either.
I can barely take care of myself. I’m in no position to be a father, much less a mother.
The happy baby photo is used with the leave of the photographer.